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Marriage, The Long Haul: Colorblindness


Marriage: The Long Haul
by Mark and Jan Yokers

There is HOPE when you are stuck!

Follow Milan & Kay Yerkovich below as they reveal an all-too-often scenario in marriage:

“We all love the idea of love. The falling in love stage is exhilarating, and we never feel more alive than when all we can think about is that “special person.” When we are in love, our brain is in an altered state that only sees what we want to see. Our new love is all good, and we become color-blind. We can’t see red; thus, there are no red flags.

“Eventually, when the sweet memories of the celebration and the taste of the wedding cake have faded, color blindness begins to resolve, and gradually we can see clearly again. All Charles and Lucy could see was red when Kay and I talked to them. Their faces reflected the anguish and frustration of Paradise Lost. ‘We both want out of this marriage, but we have a two-year-old and a three-month-old baby, and we don’t know what to do. Can you help us?’

It didn’t take long to see their repetitive fight pattern. It wasn’t always about the same issue, but Charles had a hot button that Lucy always seemed to push. ‘It’s like I’m walking in a field of land mines. I never know when I’m going to step on one. The other day, I was laughing and smiling at the baby, and Charles said, ‘How come you don’t laugh and smile at me like that anymore?’ I’m done; I can’t take it anymore.’

“Evidently, with the divorce rate soaring, this ‘Crazy Little Thing Called Love’ is harder than we ever imagined. As the juiced-up guys say on the late-night infomercials, ‘But wait!! If you order now…,’ is how Kay and I feel (minus the caffeine) when we meet young, disillusioned couples. But wait, there is hope! Push the pause button on the divorce, give us some time, and we think you may feel differently.”

One big secret we’ll discuss next time is that your marriage problems did not start in your marriage!! Getting to the bottom of that statement and using the tools the Yerkoviches provide has transformed our own marriage.

Below, find access to those resources:

“There are many free resources and reasonably priced products at HowWeLove.com that an individual or couple can use to start the education and growth steps needed to provide better lenses through which to view yourself and others. Our How We Love Workbook provides an opportunity to challenge yourself in a direction that will improve all your relationships. Your marriage problems did not start in your marriage! The seeds of relational frustration were planted long ago in a little version of you that was ever so impressionable. We provided questions for Lucy to ask Charles, and as she began to hear his childhood story, Lucy began to cry when she realized…”





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